Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the day after is always just damage control
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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