Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
