making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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