What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
