lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
