she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
