Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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