yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
