Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
