Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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