How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
