Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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