As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
