I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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