Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize