So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
