Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
