For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
