Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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