Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize