You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It was like getting head from an anaconda
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
