dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize