1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
