You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
