Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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