I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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