life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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