This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I feel like death gave me a hand job
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
