no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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