Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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