He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
