What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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