it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
