You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
