its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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