toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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