that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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