i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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