you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Operation Purity has been aborted
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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