I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
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I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
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You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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