Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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