I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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