How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
