I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
