take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
