I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
