Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
