yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"