no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
