My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects