Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
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