How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
