3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
