I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
