I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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