ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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