And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
