he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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