My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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