it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
