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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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