Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
