was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
