I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
