Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
