This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
