cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
