i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
