the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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