In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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